Large Breasts: Low, Hanging Fruit

Anyone who has entered a singing competition has encountered the “Do Not Sing” list, a collection of songs forbidden by the judging panel. These tunes are called “low, hanging fruit” because they are too common, too easy, or simply unwanted.

Much like the unwanted “Do Not Sing” outcasts, women’s breasts rarely meet society’s and media’s propaganda of what constitutes “perfect breasts”. A woman’s breasts are expected to fill several roles, mostly for the benefit of the onlooker without much regard for the woman herself. Natural breasts exist in a variety of shapes and fullnesses: some breasts are prized for being high, perky, seemingly weightless, and firm, while others (like mine) are less preferred because they are low, heavy, & squishy.

Most fashion designers, magazines, TV, film, and lingerie companies tout one kind of woman — a woman with “perfect” breasts. And by “perfect”, I mean breasts that are small, or at least manageable, and certainly don’t move or jiggle, and definitely have no “side boob”. (Because HEAVEN FORFUCKINGBID a woman’s breast have actual shape and mass and curve. FOR SHAME!)

Have you ever seen a plus-sized, large-breasted woman in a lead role in a TV police or hospital drama? Where her weight isn’t the butt of jokes? Where the plus-sized woman gets to have steamy love scenes with the sexy lead guy? With her natural, large breasts moving around as large, natural breasts do? With her other rolls and bulges visible & unrestrained by spandex or cinchers to hold it all in, to be more presentable, more suitable for what society wishes our breasts looked like? Rarely to never.

In fact, the only example I have seen is on a defunct BBC show called “The Desperate Romantics” (starring swarthy Irishman and “Poldark” lead Aidan Turner). It is the ONLY time I have seen TV sex scenes in which a (naturally) large-breasted woman was allowed to have her body move and jiggle and her breasts sway and wave from side to side as they do in real life when a woman is having sex. Interestingly, the first love scene between Turner and the plus-sized redhead he was bedding, was cropped close — as if the director were trying to hide her plus-sized-ness and reign in the movement of her curves, especially her breasts. Then in the second love scene between Turner and busty redhead, the director allowed the camera to capture some of the luscious movement of the curvy redhead’s body — especially the ample swaying of her very large breasts. I felt like I was finally represented!

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I have never seen myself represented in most TV shows or films that I’ve watched in my lifetime. To see a pale ginger with a voluptuous body and heavy breasts being the object of a sexy man’s desire and NOT be cast as a prostitute or the fat sidekick who’s constantly the butt of the fat jokes? Hell, yeah! I’ll take more of that on screen, thank you very much!

The irony is that plus-sized women with large breasts are too “fat” to get lead roles in “serious” TV shows and films. Bigger women are either the fat sidekick for comedy’s sake or banished to the roles of prostitutes, concubines, and brothel madams. AND YET large breasts are the go-to fetish for porn, skin-mags, and video games. Large breasts have been some religion’s foundation of shaming women’s bodies as “sinful” and inciting lust, while painting the women who have naturally large breasts as less intelligent and/or over-sexed … especially if the overly curvy woman also happens to be a sensual, buxom redhead.

In my article “Me, My Breasts, & I”, I listed some of the experiences I’ve endured because of my breasts. My breasts will never be “perfect” in society’s eyes, but I’m not going to hate my body because society is a shallow sack of shit.

So, this post is for all the buxom ladies out there who are shamed yet catcalled, unrepresented yet fetishized. Be large, and be proud. We refuse to be the unwanted low-hanging fruit that is not given a chance to shine. We will represent ourselves in social media, and maybe one day, we will be better represented in mainstream TV and film.