On Facebook this morning, I made this post about my schedule for today:
Today: fill out financial aid paperwork for going back to school next month, work on magazine which will be out next week, practice song for possible theatre audition this weekend, have lunch with bohemian artists, clean out boxes in my living room so I have space for yoga and kettlebells, think of something to do this evening.
I have so many great opportunities coming my way financially and artistically — just to be happier overall, that it made me think back to when I was married, something I don’t like to remember.
When I was married and did things for myself or my career, my then-husband accused me of being selfish. Now that I’m free from that emotional and psychological bullshit, I AM focusing on myself and my career and the things that matter to me like my health, my education, my happiness, and being comfortable in my own skin.
I cannot be a good mother or a happy person if I live my life for other people or other people’s needs while neglecting my own. So I am absolutely focusing on myself and the things that make me happy; and instead of changing the world, I’m now working on changing myself, with the hope that that energy ripples outward and encourages others to do the same in their lives.
Happiness does not equal selfishness.
Aroused and perpetually awakening,