Similarly to the past two days — 08-08-12 and 08-09-12, I laid in bed over an hour, started AWESOM when I was ready and that was about it.  I looked at the clock when I started the 20-minute session, didn’t even set my stopwatch to time it. But I only did a few rounds, and I knew I was ready to be done, so I stopped.  I looked at the clock.  It was only 4 minutes later.  I didn’t bother with Sparkles.  I wasn’t in the mood … well, I was in the mood, but my back and neck had started hurting the night before.  The pain was beginning to override any would-be pleasurable feelings.  But the breathing and relaxing did start to help with the pain in my back and neck.

Having to learn how to re-incorporate my practice back into my routine without triggering stealth orgasms  had been the first challenge of the past two days.  The unexpected emotional triggers got me thinking in another direction.  But at the time, after the 4 minutes was over, I noticed tingling up my left leg, which I took as a good sign.  I was physically tired and hurting, so I laid there for a while trying to breathe the pain away, but eventually had to get up.

As I got on with my day, I noticed intermittent energy zings up my left leg again.  As well as the occasional scalgasm.  This was very encouraging to me as it meant, yes, the energies were still there — perhaps, dormant — but definitely still there.

In the shower, I did my nightly vagina check, and as I inserted my finger, I felt a jolt.  Not a sharp zap like with the clit, but a deeper, more subtle, expansion of energy, a noticeable triggering of something in my prostate.  I couldn’t help myself.  I pulsed a few times and felt the inklings of prostate re-awakening that I have been craving for months.  I was ecstatic but careful not to do too much.  Doing “more” or “harder” or “faster” won’t make the sensations suddenly appear.  They have a mind and a schedule (and a wisdom) all their own.  It’s annoying at times to realize that my super intelligent, crafty mind can’t make my body hurry up and do  what I want and be  where I want it to be when  I want it to be there… kind of like losing weight… which reminds me… no more brownies….

When I looked at my fingers to check the fluid, it was so thick it was less like fluid and more like a facial cream.  The smell was spot on — sweet — and seeing the copious amount of prostate “fluid” from just a few pulses was definitely encouraging.  But the thickness concerned me.  It meant I was dehydrated.  The prostate and my ultimate goal of gushing waterfalls via female ejaculation will never happen without being properly, if not, slightly over-, hydrated.

This fact alone caused me to look at everything I’m doing in totality.

Life is complete stress right now, for several reasons, which I won’t go in to here.

My schedule changed this week from my natural night-owl schedule to the enforced schedule of getting a kid on a school bus early in the mornings.

This change in schedule also changed my eating habits, sleeping habits, exercise habits — essentially, just about everything I do, plus how and when I do it.

I have also begun lowering my caffeine intake by only drinking 24 oz. of diet soft drink per day.  Last week, I had remembered that when I had my big prostate/cosmic bliss orgasm breakthrough in the Fall, I was completely off diet soft drinks and thoroughly hydrated.  My two beverages are water and my vice, Diet Coke.  No alcohol, coffee, or tea.  So anticipating the return of daily sessions, I had dropped my caffeine consumption, which may be triggering detox.  I definitely felt the headaches of withdrawal, but I’m not sure I want to associate my back and neck pain to the caffeine withdrawal… yet…

As I thought on all this later, I think I understand what is happening, but only time will tell if it is what I think it is…

Aroused and being mysterious,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.