December 10, 2011

(*In response to men’s take on nipple stimulation and what they like.*)

Got into an interesting debate on the difference between porn & erotica last night.  Especially in regard to how the female body is treated for the sake of men’s ogling.  Erotica is much more women-friendly than porn, especially with all the rampant crap that is available on the internet.  Female-centered erotica with real orgasms is the hallmark of IFeelMyself.com.  Every (straight / bisexual) man should watch some of that. 🙂

Kissing and sucking a man’s nipples is a true delight for me.  I mean, I really love it.  I do chest worship on a man — cupping the chest / pectoral muscle with my hands, massaging the skin, muscle, and nerves, while sucking the nipple — the way men like to suck female breasts.  LUV LUV LUV doing that!  But the guys I’ve tried it on said it felt weird (in a bad way) to them, or that it didn’t do anything for them.  Either they weren’t allowing themselves to enjoy it (too “feminine” perhaps?), or I had really lousy technique (which I doubt, but anything’s possible).

The treatment of the breasts is one of my main oppositions to porn.  My ex-husband once (and only once) lifted one of my breasts and dropped it like I know he’d seen in porn.  I couldn’t believe he did that!!  Or that he thought that would feel good?!!  But he’d seen it in porn, and those women “liked” it (because they were directed to react that way and they were paid to pretend to like it, moron!).  It hurt incredibly, and I felt it was horribly disrespectful to me and to my body.  (Later, he would make a comment about my breasts that cut me to my core — the kind of thing that is just not forgivable and will never be forgotten (it is etched in my soul), and I knew then he had never respected me as a woman or my body as something sacred and special.  I was a possession to him.  Wish I’d realized that a long time before then…)

And back on the topic of breastfeeding a child — Yes, some women experience a closeness to their child, but not all of us.  At least, not when you spend 45 minutes every two hours having small gums cutting your flesh as they try to feed.  Some women even orgasm while breastfeeding.  So it might be comfortable for other women, but it sure wasn’t for me.  I still have the scars.  So “rock on!” to the women who enjoy breastfeeding — I didn’t, but that was my personal experience.

As for the light flicking of a tongue across my nipples, yes that can send a “zing” down south, but I love feeling a man’s warm, wet mouth full-on sucking my breasts.  This can bring practically instant cervical / Kundalini orgasms.  Delicious!  And don’t forget — the underside of the female breast (below the nipple-areola complex) is rife with nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated by gentle caresses and nibbling and kisses!

That book, Tantric Orgasm for Women, made so much sense!  (Will write a review soon!)  As we know, the nipples are wired directly to our lady’s loins, so I truly believe the breasts are the gateway to female orgasm.  Breast worship is a lovely beginning to the main event, anyway.  Also, Tantra teaches that, in women, the upper lip is also wired directly to the clitoris, so kissing her upper lip, or letting her kiss you all over has lots of side benefits for her and for you.  (For men, the lower lip is connected to his genitals.)

I’ve noticed recently, too, that my navel is very sensitive.  In the shower, I ran my hand over my abdomen and felt a kick in my groin area.  I fingered my navel (something new for me), and felt a jolt ZAP me in the vulva.  This was totally different.  It didn’t go to the clit, or any noticeable “spot” but it was obviously directly wired somewhere down there, to the outside left of the opening to the vagina before the fleshy part of the left major labia.  I’ve tried it a few more times since then, and it always zings in that same spot to the left of the vaginal opening.  This may be another gateway — triggering things I’ve either never felt before or never noticed because I wasn’t open to new sensations.  I think this calls for more sensual massage and research.

And thanks for the info that men’s nipples seem to be wired to the perineum / anal area.  Good tip!  I have done perineal massage on myself in the past, but didn’t notice much.

In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed a bit more in the perineum, as well as the nerve endings around my anus.  Beyond adding a little pressure to the (external) perineum, I’m not sure what else to do.  I am beginning to explore the perineal sponge (inside) a bit more — really loving the initial explorations!  And with a couple fingers in my vagina playing with my She Spot, my pinky keeps finding its way to my anus.  A slippery slope (quite literally!), but I’m not ready to mix the two (vaginal & anal) yet.  I will eventually, but sometimes it already seems like so much “work”. 🙂

And I really appreciate men being so willing to talk about all this from your male perspective.  You give cynical women like me a reason to hope for the male of the species.

And thank you for putting up with my bouncing around on topics.  Writing in “stream of consciousness” is my forte`, and I like to share something new when the thought arises… Now, if one of yous guys can tell me why men grab their own ass during sex, I just might be set for a while…

Aroused and zinging,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
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