(*In response to a friend who is on a journey with a new toy, her pelvic hum, bioenergetics, dreamwork, singing, and lots of inner work.*)
Awesome! Will definitely get that toy then… One of the things I’m fascinated by, vaginally speaking, is how it doesn’t feel cylindrical in there. It feels more rectangular (and wider than you’d think it would be), and those nooks and crannies are so cool to explore! And when the walls are swollen with arousal and seem to squish my fingers, it is a completely different feeling than when the vagina is in “Yes!” (as Tantra guru Diana Richardson says) when the walls seem to be elevated and the opening is wide, ready, and waiting for entry.
Another reason the shower check each night is pretty cool — circling the cervix with my finger as it dips lower than usual, I sometimes wonder, “How the heck did a kid come out of here?!” That toy will be a welcome addition to Expedition Vagina. More field work, indeed!!
Re: the buzz in the pelvic/ She-spot area — This is another reason I LOVE belly dancing. The hip isolations really get you in tune with the lower region. And in Pilates or Yoga, doing Goddess Pose (sometimes called “Horse Stance” — ugh! ), with the feet wide apart, then you bend the knees to lower yourself down (in ballet, it’s a grande plie`). This alone can get you in touch with the pelvic floor and the orgasmic power in the lower core area. But try some pelvic tilts — they can be yummy!
LISTEN TO YOUR GUIDES!!! I can also tell that AQWESOM’s full potential of awakening is there, too. I’m “Gretel” to its breadcrumbs, so I’m trying really hard not to chase but allow. But I’m kinda setting a deadline of Yule to see more results — not as a pass or fail grade, but just to see what can happen .
I’m reminded of a great line from YENTL (one of my fave movies), when Mandy Patinkin’s character lists off all the things “Yentl” (Barbra Streisand’s character) has in her life, and he asks, “What more could you want?” And she simply says, “More.” That’s my problem. I want more. And lots of it. Yesterday.
I’m a competitive person, so when I don’t accomplish something, my arts training kicks in, and I start going over where I could have done better, rehearsed longer, rehearsed better, been more focused, etc. Letting go of the A-part of my AB personality is tough. I’m also an ENTJ, the “Commander/Field Marshal” personality — y’all may have noticed.
I’ve made it where I am in my career as a full-time artist because I didn’t let failure or rejection defeat me, and I have followed the adage, “I’ll find a way or MAKE a way.” Overcoming, or at least setting that part of me aside, has been the most difficult part. Also because I haven’t been with a partner in a looong while, and a little over a year ago, I set out as a single mom, and responsibilities took precedence over pleasure.
I need to be in the right head space to practice, albeit not perfectly. I try to think of Buddha’s logic, that we are perfect in our imperfection — which means I’m frickin’ fabulous! HA!
My dreams are coming back — yay! And I hope to have another volcano dream soon. I had one a few months ago, and it was my second volcano dream ever — but it was so synchronistic with what’s happening in mind, body, and spirit. Soon, I can put my “order” in to the Universe for my Mr. Right-For-Me Dream Man to appear… probably in the next couple of years, which is a nice thought to think about.
Aroused and dreaming,
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.