November 22, 2011

So here’s what’s up with my She-spot lately.  Back at the beginning of my journal, I had mentioned my female prostate (FP) was about driving me nutz with the sensations that were unexpected, different, yet powerful and sublime all at the same time.  After the initial few days of having that awful/wonderful feeling of needing to urinate constantly, and having sensations during solo sex like I’ve never had before, the feelings died down for a couple days. I actually missed them.  I had started to get to know them — we were practically going steady and had made it to second base! 🙂  I was able to differentiate between the actual need to go to the bathroom feeling, and the “WOWZERS, this will be an amazing orgasm!!!” feeling.

After pondering the possibility of drowning my sorrows in a big bottle of chocolate syrup, I noticed the feelings coming back.  On a side note: each attempt at practice inevitably became full-on masturbation and amazing orgasms.  I didn’t get to listen to my new Kundalini CD because I just didn’t have the patience for it.  But I have been continuing the sensual massage… a lot.

Anyhoo, so now that I was more familiar with the sensations, I experimented a bit… great stuff!  In researching more about the FP, I came across a bit of info I had forgotten that has to do with stimulating the female prostate.  I think we all know that in-and-out sex is “friction sex,” and that to reach the She-Spot, you have to curve your fingers up to the anterior wall of the vagina (between the 11 and 12 o’clock position for many women — and me), and stimulate the She-Spot directly (for a vaginal orgasm).

Well, this little, unassuming technique involves inserting a couple fingers (middle and ring fingers for me) and quickly pumping the fingers up and down on the FP (like when you get your blood pressure taken and the nurse pumps the bladder to tighten the cuff).  OH MY GODDESS!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the single most powerful finger maneuver I have EVER experienced in my life!!!!

Now, I know my She-Spot very well.  We’ve been friends a looooong time.  She’s been good to me, and I’ve tried to give her what she needs as well.  But I have never felt the intensity of arousal vaginally the way I have in the past week with the awakening of my prostate.  Doing the rapid finger pumping on my FP brought primal sounds and shallow, rapid breathing out of me like I’ve never done before (and certainly would never choose to do as a trained singer).  I can only take it for about 10 seconds until it’s just too much — and I have NEVER been a “it’s too much person.”

One time, I did the finger pumping on my She-Spot/FP, three times in a row, with a 30-second break for catching my breath in between.  I finally got out the penis vibe (sans vibration) because I couldn’t take the intensity of the feelings I was having, thinking the vibe won’t stoke those fires too much because it will be in-and-out (though it does have a slight curve to it).

OMG, was I wrong!  This was the best ever orgasm I’ve ever had — hands down… hands on… hands in — FABULOUS!!!  I knew there was more that was possible beyond that, but I simply didn’t know if I’d make it through.  It was so powerful, I cried uncontrollably.  Good orgasms will make me cry, but not like this.  The arousal and the orgasm was in the core of me, not genital.  This is the closest I’ve ever gotten in the “real world” to the feelings I’ve experienced in my astral dreams — which was at the top of my wish list for starting this Tantrik-based practice in the first place.

I also noticed a difference in the juices.  Doing the finger(s) pumping motion and stimulating the prostate brought juices that were creamy in color rather than clear like regular vaginal secretions. The creamy juices (I won’t use the crude term that’s used in porn) happened every time with the FP stim, so I know it is particular to the FP (for my own edification, or course).  The down side — my sheets are a vibrant rusty-red (yes, fire-colored), and the creamy juices show up later whereas the clear juices don’t — which means I’ll be doing laundry more often, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to
make for orgasms like that!

Unfortunately, I’m on the down-swing again… even the finger pumping, though still intense, does not have the same intensity it did just a couple days ago… this could be because my time is not my own (school’s out for Thanksgiving holiday, and I’m not alone during the days this week).  It’s “that” time of the month.  If this continues, then this pendulum of highs and lows is changing what I think I know about myself, my body, what I like, what I can (and cannot) handle, which is all good for learning and growing.

I was getting annoyed with myself for not having multiple orgasms during the 22-minute practice.  (I thought MO’s were supposed to be part of the practice.  Not necessarily so!)  I was getting annoyed at my clit and even my beloved She-Spot for not taking me over the moon already — “C’mon, it’s been 2 weeks, we can do better than this!”

But in talking with a few peeps, I came to some realizations.  The Tantrik modalities are an awaken-er.  It’s the rock that hits the lake, it isn’t the ripples of water themselves.  The ripples — the waves — are what we awaken and interpret as orgasms that are unlike what we’ve experienced before… Now, that I have that straight in my head, I think I can allow my self to do what it needs to do — I don’t need to drive the orgasm train, I can be a passenger, and that is okay. 🙂

So, here’s to awakening the fire within! (And understanding that being the Grasshopper isn’t such a bad thing, especially when the orgasms are this fabulous.)

Using my fingers for my nightly shower check, I noticed my cervix was low.  I think I’m going to start tracking the sexual highs and lows of my horny barometer.  I’ve recently lost 30+ pounds (yay, me!), and now I’m trying the Orgasm Diet.  I think tracking my sex drive with the rest of my body changes might be interesting for reference later…

Aroused and journaling,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.